Apr 30 2009
How to feel confident or positive, any time you choose.
During a recent workshop we really discussed whether it was possible or even desirable to be able to control how you felt…
Have you ever paid attention to the way that you feel at a particular time of the day, maybe right now…?
The way you feel or your state relates to your physical well-being, as well as your thoughts and emotions.
- How does you body feel now (calm, tired, energetic, excited, tense, etc.)?
- What are your thoughts occupied with (people, tasks, future, past, etc.)?
- Do you feel any emotions (happiness, anxiety, anticipation, etc.), and if so, how do you feel them (e.g. warmth in your chest, knot in your stomach, etc.)?
What most people do not realize is that we are constantly in some kind of state. In fact, we cannot not be in a state of some description! So as long as you are alive you are going to be in a state of some kind – and most of us will experience many different states during a typical day, sometimes changing between states in a matter of minutes or even seconds.
States can be resourceful (happy, motivated, creative, etc.) or non-resourceful (angry, resentful, fearful, etc.). People who spend the majority of their time in resourceful states will most likely be leading a successful and rewarding life, even if not necessarily an easy life (does anyone?). If you are in a resourceful state you can make the best of any situation. It is the number one criterion to success in any walk of life. Likewise, if you are in a non-resourceful state you will say and do things that draw problems, difficulties, tension and complications into your life.
So the question is: How do you maintain a resourceful state in the midst of the many challenges you face every day?
One answer is to deliberately create and use “anchors”.
NLP anchoring uses a stimulus – it may be a sound, an image, a touch, smell or a taste – to trigger a consistent response in you or someone else. Two very simple anchors might be to either simply clench your fist gently or to press together the tips of your index finger and your thumb.
The next trick is to learn to associate a particular emotional state with your chosen anchor.
When something is anchored, we react without thinking. This can be beneficial or painful.
Can you think of a piece of music that has special meaning for you or a smell that reminds you of a specific incident in your life? The music or the smell are acting as anchors to your earlier, powerful memory. Many commercial organisations use jingles or slogans to anchor their product firmly in your mind…
When we use NLP anchoring, we make these associations deliberately.
Anchoring is derived from Pavlov’s theory of stimulus-response. Pavlov trained dogs to associate a stimulus or anchor – the ringing of a bell – with the arrival of their food. Very soon, the dogs, which salivated vigorously when their food was presented, learned to associate the stimulus of the bell with the physical response of salivation.
Stimulus-response usually needs further reinforcement, whereas anchoring can be created at the first attempt itself although the strength of the anchor can be increased by repeating the process several times.
So how do we do this?
To be most effective your chosen anchor needs to be a unique stimulus – a special touch or smell for example – that occurs at a specific time to coincide with a very strong emotional feeling.
So get yourself into the right emotional state.
- Remember a time when you really felt the desired emotion, say confidence….
- Really re-live that emotion and do everything you can to make that feeling of emotion real and powerful to you right now….
- Move, jump, jiggle, smile, remember or imagine feeling really great, totally unstoppable, capable of anything, positively glowing with confidence… and just as you think you’re about to burst with energy use your anchor…
- Touch your thumb and index finger together and hold them together for about 5 seconds.
- After 5 seconds, relax, let go of the emotion, let your anchor release and come back to a “normal” state.
Right now, you are beginning to condition your body into knowing that, when you t ouch your thumb and index finger together (use your anchor), you feel really confident in exactly the same way as Pavlov’s dogs knew it was time to salivate when the bell rang!
You’ll probably need to repeat the “anchoring process” several times to make it robust. If you really can create, remember or imagine a strong positive emotional state then it becomes relatively easy to associate this with physical anchor…
Now, maybe as you read through this you’re thinking “Go on, it can’t be this simple” or even “This is silly” – I was very sceptical when I first heard of this technique… But just imagine for one moment that what I’m sharing with you is true…
If it really is this simple, don’t you want to give it a go?!!
The secret is to give it a go and to do this just as if you really, really believed it was true. Secret scepticism really won’t help you with this one!
If it turns out that I’m right, then you can know you can feel confident and composed whenever you choose to touch your thumb and index finger together!

