MargaretCollinsOnline – Thinking Out Loud…

My life was brightened once more by a contribution from Judith Morgan…

MY LIVING WILL

She’s such a bitch…..

I laughed out loud!! Fortunately my friend was also attached to a computer so was too busy to pull the plug or throw the wine.

Time for a walk on the beach maybe…

Enjoy your weekend!

As a trainer I travel. As a traveller I often find myself taking a break in service stations of various descriptions and see the good, the bad and the ugly!

I recently stopped in a Tesco store and witnessed some of the worst customer service interactions I’ve seen. Two operatives – anonymous, one male, one female but no name badges in evidence, were behind the counter… while I browsed the various “Special Offer” meal deal boards, a couple in front of me asked for “Two teas and hot cross buns please”…to be met with “Sorry but there are no large hot cross buns left, we only have the standard size over there” and a vague gesture to the left, away from the counter. The customers were confused by the response and repeated their request for tea and hot cross buns. Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee repeated as if in unison “Sorry, there are no large hot cross buns left. We only have the standard size over there” with more pointing away from the counter… bemused, the customers wandered away from the counter and didn’t return while I was there.

My go next… “Have you got any fish and chips?” – it was Friday and this was their meal of the day. “No” came back the answer. It dries out if we keep it under the lights. We could cook some for you but you’ll have to wait 10 minutes or so. Is that OK?” Well, what do you think? Would that have stirred you to part with your money? I left without fish and chips!!!

Contrast this with a visit to a Little Chef at Hope-Under-Dinmore… we arrived around 6.30pm, it was about half full and looking bright and bustling. There were only two staff on duty as far as I could see but Tracy and Jo were doing a great job. Each new customer was greeted warmly at the door and shown directly to a clean table. “Would you like a drink or shall we leave you for a minute to look at the menu?” We took the option to look at the menu – as soon as we had browsed, made our choice and put the menu down, Jo appeared with her order book in hand – “What can I get for you this evening?”. We waited minutes before fresh coffee appeared and was followed by freshly cooked food. I barely had time to watch and admire as Jo and Tracy seemlessly swapped roles – Tracy was the chef and seemed in control in her kitchen but, if Jo was taking orders Tracy stepped out to greet a new customer and show them to a table. No sooner than a freshly cooked meal appeared did Jo collect it and deliver it to table. When your meal was finished a further invitation “Would you like anything else?” or “Are you ready for your bill?” and people were given time to pack and move out without fuss – but the table was being cleared before they had closed the door behind them!

It was a real lesson in how to do great customer service. So Jo and Tracy at Hope-Under-Dinmore, thank you!

I was talking with a colleague recently about their impending Annual Appraisal Review meeting.

Almost every organisation has these reviews in some form or another and I don’t know many places where they are really appreciated or used to best effect for either employee or organisation.

It is always assumed or even explicitly stated that the purpose of such meetings is to

• provide feedback on past performance and
• encourage improvement of future performance.

Yeh… on occasion, with a really good Manager, this can feel almost true. But a good Manager is providing this feedback regularly anyway! Why would they/you wait for the annual appraisal?!

So if you’re serious about improving your personal performance, is there a good way to go about it?

How about you – Ask for feedback….

Now there’s daring! Ask your peers, ask your colleagues, ask your managers…

This might sound simple and it does require courage. However, it is very, very easy to get totally wrong!

I’ve been reading “What got you here won’t get you there” by Marshall Goldsmith – fascinating book and unusually, it’s the last few chapters that really made an impact for me.

Have you tried asking for feedback? Where do you start… “Am I doing a good job?”, “Could I be doing better?”.

People you are managing often feel the power dynamic – how can they honestly tell you what they feel could be better… it’s such an openended question and certainly not specific or focussed.

If you’re lucky, you might get someone brave enough, or arrogant enough to tell you what you’re doing wrong. It’s far more likely you will get comfirting platitudes about you’re doing a good job anyway… maybe a slightly embarrasssing smile or uncomfortable silence and then moving on with the business.

So how can you ask for feedback?

How about “I’m really serious about improving. How could I do better? Could you tell me just two things I might try?”

For some people, that would be limited enough and open enough… others might need a little time to think about it or even to share their thoughts later… no pressure…

What do you think? Would it work for you?

I was at Bath University earlier this week delivering a workshop on Effective Communication Skills. This was targetted specifically at international students who often spend their first few months in the UK grappling with the complexities of English as spoken by the natives – and it’s not as simple as they teach in the best of language schools.

We did have a great time together. But did I have stiff competition!!

All day long it snowed. I don’t actually remember a winter like this one – they say it’s been 20 years. I know when I was much younger yes, we expected snow quite regularly. It’s been a rare novelty in more recent years. However, put yourself in the shoes of my students. The majority of them had never seen snow in their lives!!!! Bahrain, Indonesia, Malaysia… not contries known for their annual snowfall.

Every time I paused for breath their attention turned to the window. Every break we took saw an array of noses pressed against the glass as they cooed over the falling snow – and it did look like a winter wonderland.

I can be certain of one thing – we’ll be talking about the winter of 2009 for many years to come!

On Tuesday I arrived early for my workshop, knew I would, well worht it to avoid busy traffic later.

I also knew that there would be a Starbucks close by, a refuge where I could get breakfast and gather my thoughts before the training session.

I settled in and began to notice the people around me… some were obviously “regulars”, others, no doubt like myself were just passing through.

I took a sip of my drink and scowled. How could any business become so famous for selling such mediocre coffee?!

And then another penny dropped – it’s not about the coffee, it’s the experience.

My companions in this outlet were extremely varied… a group of four obviously having a team meeting before going on to a job together. A quieter lady covering the table and the bench seat besides her with books and files – she looked as if she were reconciling a set of accounts to my distant and inexperienced eye. My closest companion was picking at her food while reading a novel – I couldn’t see the book cover but the novel was winning out over the food! A number of men sat on their own dotted around the room, checking emails or playing games on their mobile phone.

In their own way each person was in their own private space while being fully in public. Our entry price for this haven was the purchase of the famous Starbucks coffee – or tea. A small price for our own private space bubble in a busy coffee shop!

And so on with my day – Presenting Your Research at Conference – my favourite. What fun!!!

Continuing reflections on success…

One thing I really notice in my role as Money Gym Coach and as a trainer with Training For Universities is that some people, many people, get to the stage where they recognise they need help…

There are many times when we know we’ve reached the boundaries of our current skill set and need fresh input. This is the first step on the journey to success. Having recognised a need, we come actively seeking a solution. You can’t start any journey of self improvement unless you actually show up!

Many new clients to the Money Gym know that they have reached the end of their budget and that joining the Money Gym Gold coaching programme is their last lifeline… For the majority of clients it really is that – a lifeline. Over the course of weeks or months they learn new ways of thinking, new skills, experience new communities of thought. There are so many amazing examples of this on the Money Gym Silver Google group – but you’ll have to join in or take a look at the blog to take a peek…

Similarly most people who come to my training workshops are faced with a situation where they know they could have done better… whether it is giving a conference presentation or managing a junior member of staff – they need new skills and come to the workshop to learn…

For a minority of people, unfortunately, showing up is as far as it goes.

For some there seems to be the mindset that “I’ve paid the money, now give me the skill!”.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve been tempted by this demon – and succumbed – on many occasions. How many people have bought internet marketing solutions and done nothing with them? How often have you bought something, maybe a diet book, perhaps an exercise video, maybe even full membership of a swanky gym – and then not got past the cover. If only turing your situation around were as simple as making the purchase! We all know it takes more than this.

First of all you need to be prepared to loosen your grip on old realities. Whatever you knew in the past isn’t working as well as it might so you have to be open to the possibilitity that there is a better way AND then some.

Once you have some idea of what the new way might be, that’s the time for rolling up your sleeves and putting in the work. We all know that the road to hell is paved with good intentions and I’ve laid many paths there for myself.

For me one secret of success is being prepared to move beyond dependence. To move beyond the belief that if I pay my money to someone else, “it” will miraculously tranform me.

I have to take responsibility for myself, for my future, for my actions. It is only by my own commitment that I can start to create a new way, to learn and to put into practice new skills, develop new habits. And yes, this does mean moving outside of my comfort zone!

So what do you think? Are we ready to give up our search for magic wand solutions, to move beyond dependence?

We’re well into 2009 now. For most people today is the first “proper” day back at work. I can see the effects of people trawling through their inbox, tying up loose ends from 2008, making plans to fill their 2009 diaries.

For myself, I’m just recovering. My body took a hard hit with various viruses over the last month but my mind – the bit of it that is motivated and focussed at any rate – seems to be just making it back to the land of the living! I hope you fared well over the holiday.

So as I beging to get my plans together I also need to look back at what worked, what stalled, what needs starting again, throwing out…

I don’t wish to knock New Year resolutions – though suspect that many made with good intentions have already fallen by the wayside. I feel that it is vitally important to make a conscious review of what is important for 2009, knowing what worked – or not – for 2008.

Almost everything you read proclaims doom and gloom for the forseeable future. Stockmarkets down 30% on the year, house prices down 16%, predicictions of 3 million unemployed in the UK. These stories are enough to keep most people safely locked in their bunkers. In terms of savings or investments, where is a girl to put her money? Interest rates for savers are so low as to be riseable but has the UK property market bottomed out yet – even if you do have the credit record and deposit to get that mortgage?!

Now I know that these headline figures hide many personal stories of tragedy, of savings lost, pensions shrunk and properties locked in a frozen sea – for the individuals and families concerned, this is tough stuff.

However on the few occasions I ventured out shopping over the holiday I was swamped by hoardes of people intent on buying – well everything! There was hardly a store I entered that didn’t have long queues of customers excitedly holding aloft their trophies. So is this the sign of a recession? Are all these good citizens doing their duty and spending their way out of a collapsing economy or are they doing the consumer version of fiddling while Rome burns?

Do you know what, I’m not sure I know the answer to that question.

What I do know is that I’m thinking more carefully about financial decisions big and small. More than ever I’m glad to be part of a comunity of people at The Money Gym who collectively have a lot of information about making and keeping money, about investment opportunities, about how to survive and thrive in these uncharted waters…

One lesson I’m really beginning to learn is this – when faced with a difficult job, get help!

I was lucky enough to own a Wii of my own.

My Christmas addition to the Wii Kit was a Wii Fit Balance board.

The brilliant thing about this piece of kit is that you can exercise without knowing it! In best fashion you can be a bit more active than being a coach potato and you don’t even have to step outdoors – which is all the more welcome in these cold winter days.

It has been a huge source of amusement and entertainment – and let’s be honest – there’s pretty poor competition from live telly right now.

Now I know it’s also possible to fool yourself into thinking that you’re doing something good… 45 minutes playing slalom ski doesn’t eliminate my need for healthy eating and regular aerobic exercise. But the Wii can be a source of real health benefits.

Jodie Lawton has created the Wii Health Zone membership site that it a great guide to getting best benefits out of this investment.

Having fun can really be good for you!

Are you healthy at the moment?

There’s a lot of “stuff” going round. Predictions of nine times more cases of flu than usual for this time of year… Have you escaped? I do hope so!

I got my first taste, not of flu but of a very heavy cold, in mid-December. It wasn’t fun but with the help of extra vitamin C, a good deal of positive visualisation, extreme-self-care and a selection of cold remedy treatments, I managed to get to the end of my working schedule with a bunch of happy clients and a longer than usual (for me!) list of things to be done. In my cold-fogged haze I hadn’t been as efficient with my paperwork as normal but, not to worry, there was plenty of time before Christmas to catch up!

Well, blow me, as soon as I started to make a recovery, I was struck low by another bug! This wasn’t a case of my immune system being ready to fight it off but, at it’s lowest ebb it was ready to be subverted by the next attack.  So for the last week I’ve been coughing and spluttering my way through Christmas.

It’s exhausting.

I can only praise the patience and caring skills of people around me who have helped make Christmas a smooth and successful family affair despite my attempts to interfere and take over!

What have I learned through this experience?

• Take time… everything takes longer when you’re operating below par so don’t try to do too much.
• Accept help. People want to help and being fiercly independent doesn’t make you (me) or them feel any better!
• Sleep… sometimes little and often feels better than struggling on.

My paperwork is still undone… I can’t say that I’m a well-behaved patient but I’m learning to accept my limitations. My admin will get sorted, not as soon as I had planned, but before I get started again in the New Year.

Until then, good food, gentle exercise and the acceptance that I can afford to ease off and be gentle on myself will ease my passage into 2009.

I hope that you are fit, healthy, happy and enjoying the Christmas season, whatever that means to you!

Yesterday I set out for London – two days doing Time Management and Project Management.

I decided to “let the train take the strain” and headed out in a reserved seat in the “Quiet Coach”. It seemed to be a near perfect way to travel. Warm, comfortable and with space to relax, read, listen to music or prepare for the day.

And then we approached Swindon, still in darkness outside our metal cocoon, and came to a quiet halt. And we waited, and waited, and waited…

After 40 minutes we pulled alongside a platform and were invited (instructed!) to leave this train which was terminating at Swindon.

Apparently a frieght train had ploughed through a set of points ahead and had blocked all London-bound traffic. There was one service heading for London – that was very popular as people surged from one train to another, their bleary-eyed calmness replaced by a very keen competitiveness to ensure they had a seat on the London-bound train!

We were heading back to Chippenham before taking a very scenic route into Paddington avoiding Swindon.

The good news is that we did get to London, an hour and forty minutes late!

I was greeted with severe delays on the Circle Line (quick, back to the Hammersmith & City Line!) and then Baker Street Station was closed because of a fire alert and no trains were allowed to stop there…

Now, dear commuters, I don’t know how typical a day this is for regular commuters. I dread to think.

However, for me, the edge came in the knowledge that I was, through no fault of my own, being delayed en route to a workshop on Time Management!

In my workshops I teach that it is important to plan and to allow a sufficient buffer… I’d reserved seats and had allowed two hours to make a 20 minute journey from Paddington…

I teach that it’s not what happens and much as your reaction or response to events that will decide the course for the rest of your day… so I emailed ahead as soon as I knew my ETA in London and asked for the start time of the workshop to be delayed by one hour. Yes, I could have said “I’ll get there as soon as I can” but is that the best for the participants? I know I’d prefer a definite one hour delay – time to get something useful done and come back in time for a coffee.

So we reconvened after a slight delay… every delegate did show up and, with a slight smile on their face, was very sympathetic about my journey.

Not the way I would have chosen to start the day but damage control was successful…