MargaretCollinsOnline – Thinking Out Loud…

gandhi

There’s a story about a young reporter who was trying to get an interview with Mahatma Gandhi…

He followed him for days, from venue to event to… the train station, without managing to speak in person.

As the train pulled out he saw Gandhi at an open window and shouted to him “Please, do you have a message for my readers?”

To which the Mahatma replied “My life is my message.”

And your life… observed from the outside… what is your message?

This weekend I attended Mark Anastasi’s Traffic Generation Summit, an absolutely mind-blowing event for internet marketers! When I’ve digested the materials I’ll share some with you here but right now I want to offer you something different.

Did you know?

This video is viral. It explains why we so need to prepare ourselves for a future that is very different to today.

Change is happening and it is happening fast!

As you watch the video, notice your reactions to the information you are learning… excited, scared, sceptical?

So what does it mean?

Like most things, the meaning is the meaning you give to it yourself.

For me it emphasises:  if you stand still, you will be left behind!

Watch – and then let me know what you think!

Sandy Forster has written a great book – Wildly Wealthy Fast!

Yes, it is about making money but even more it’s about the personal transformation that needs to occur to make wealth and abundance part of our lives. We’ve all heard stories of lottery winners who get rich very quickly – and who lose everything within a matter of years – the inside and the outside don’t match and can’t be sustained.

To attract money we need to become wealthy and abundant first.

In honesty we know that we’re not chasing the money, the dollars, the physical cash (although gold and diamonds do look very good!!); what we’re really chasing is the happiness and the freedom that we believe money will bring to us.

In her book Sandy talks abut the importance of being in the right state, the mindset to attract abundance and prosperity. She makes it clear that wealth is an inside game before it becomes externalised.

And she doesn’t stop there. To really create the wealth that will support the lifestyle she insists that action is an essential part of attrACTION.

She provides a helpful 39 point checklist at the back of her book and refers to a list of affirmations to use to help create that inner attitude that we need to learn. For my friends I’m happy to share some free resources that Sandy prepared -

Sandy Forster: wildly-wealthy-affirmations. Right click the link and “Save target as…” or “Save link as…”

If you want the 39 step checklist, you really need to buy the book. It’s worth the investment!wildly-wealthy-affirmations

I’m sure you’ve heard it, maybe even said it yourself: “I’ll be happy when…”

How the line ends depends on the situation…
“… when the move is over and done with and we’re settled again.”
“… when the inspection is finished and we can all get back to normal.”
“… if only they’d just stop fighting for a moment.”
“… they’re old enough to go to school and I can just get back to work.”
“… this job is done and we can start looking for something new.”
“… we’ve found the house/car/holiday that suits and just get on with it.”
“… next year comes and I can retire and have done with them!”

The very words betray the truth. I’ll be happy when…

We are delaying our happiness until some point in the future.

At first glance it might seem that the future event will be the cause or trigger of our happiness, but is that true? Does someone or something else really hold that power over our emotions?

What if we could be happy now, in the present, in the middle of whatever situation we find ourselves in?

Sure we might still look forward to the future while allowing ourselves to enjoy the present… but is that what “I’ll be happy when…” is about?

Are we denying ourselves the experience of happiness in this moment? Do we need to give ourselves permission to feel happy right now?

Now maybe you’re saying to yourself “But that’s ridiculous. How could I possibly be happy right now, I’ve just lost my job/received notification of a school inspection/got another totally unreasonable deadline to work to?”…

Now I can’t deny the reality of your current situation but, whatever or wherever you find yourself, how does being unhappy help you?

I’m not suggesting you should feel hysterically ecstatic but, can you be open to the possiblity of accepting whatever the moment has brought you? And what if I were to wave a magic wand and make you feel happy right now without changing anything else… how would that feel? (Relax! I don’t actually have a magic wand!!)

So how does being unhappy help?

Perhaps being unhappy gives you permission to act stressed and let off steam, to stomp about so that other people will notice they’ve upset you or to be the martyr that everybody will admire in adversity. Maybe being unhappy is your way of publicly expressing your grief or your feelings, a signal to others to give you some space or provide some support?

So could you do this more effectively if you chose not to be unhappy, if you allowed yourself to feel and to show contentment, acceptance and then take the actions you need to bring about change.

So if you’re doing what you’re doing right now in order to be happy when… give yourself a break and choose to be happy now. You’ll find that whatever you’re trying to achieve becomes much more attainable or maybe much less important.

Have you ever heard a boring lecture?

During a session on “Presenting Your Research” we were discussing the number one secret that the majority of Academics ignore during their conference presentations, lectures, seminars etc…

This one ingredient always comes high on the list of “Must Have” qualities when I ask groups “What makes for a memorable presentation?”…

The secret is – Enthusiasm.

If the speaker is enthusiastic about their work, their content, their material, it’s contagious, we can’t help but catch some of their excitement.

And yet so many presentations in the academic arena are, well, just plain boring.

In  their defence I’m sure the academics would protest that their job is to inform rather than to entertain – and yes, I have great sympathy with that. But if your audience is bored by your delivery style, they won’t remember the content long enough to stay informed once they leave the lecture theatre!

If you are a professional researcher – you have chosen this career, this research – if you can’t get enthusiastic about your own work perhaps you should seriously consider looking for another job… The question you should be asking is how can I convey my enthusiasm to my audience?

There are some circumstances when you are called to talk about something you are less enthusiastic about… maybe teaching an undergraduate lecture on a subject that you have little or no professional interest in… how can you be enthusiastic about that?

I’ve met this challenge many times in my life as undergraduate lecturing was never my number one career choice so, apart from the fake-it challenge, how do you get interested enough for your enthusiasm to become infectious?

For me, I’ve always looked for some other aspect to become excited about.

When the subject is too boring because it’s all tiny, insignificant but essential detail, then I make my challenge to see the big picture. How can I get clear about the big picture and clearly convey that to my audience?

When the subject is just boring because I have no interest in that I look for the “hook”. If someone somewhere is interested in this, what do they see in it that I am missing? Is there an implication, a consequence a beauty or symmetry to this subject that I haven’t yet discovered and I try to put myself in their shoes, see the subject through their eyes…

If all else fails I use the exercise as one in the structure and science of communication. If I have to lecture on this subject, how can I craft it so that it becomes the perfect model of how to deliver a lecture? What is the attention-grabbing introduction? How does the structure signpost the essential learning points? How do I reinforce the key learning themes throughout the session??? And I set myself the task of writing it as an exercise, a practice run in communication skills.

Funnily enough, the lecture that I dreaded most now gets the best feedback from my audience. I’m still not personally excited by the content, but I’m proud of how I communicate it to the students!

So how does this work for you? If you’re lecturing about something, how can you get enthusiastic about that? Oh and yes, it does take some time, some effort, some thinking about… like most things that are worth doing well!

Banker’s bonuses, MPs expenses claims, executive reward…

Hot topics generally at the moment and there’s no doubt that something needed to be done to stop widespread abuses of these reward and compensation systems.

There is public uproar as people in the street see those who lead their biggest and most powerful organisations caught with their noses in the trough.

I don’t want to get drawn into specific cases or defend the system but I am intrigued by the splashback, our response and plans for amending them.

I wonder if we are reacting too severely. Calls to strictly regulate or even limit executive reward, prevent  bonuses for any top managers of banks that the government has bailed out with taxpayers money – will this be the best way of getting our banks back to profitability and our economy back on its feet?

I don’t have the answer. However, if we make these jobs so unappealing with limited prospects for reward or remuneration, we will not have a queue of talented people lining up to to take on these undoubtedly great challenges. It seems more likely that we could end up with the young, or inexperienced or even the less competent people who wouldn’t be appointed by more robust organisations.

I wonder whether we are now seeing the public expression of tall poppy syndrome…

We look around and see standing in our midst one who has reached higher and blooms for all to see… it might be that they are not spectacularly more beautiful, brighter or more coloured, but they have reached further… and instead of asking “How” or “Can we grow taller too” our first response is to reach for the scissors and cut them down to size.

Not a pretty sight.

And I’m not certain that this is true, but I know I need to look at myself and my reactions to events and ask, am I cutting down tall poppies or striving to grow taller?

I recently ran an Assertiveness Skills workshop for a group of University staff. It was an interesting mixture of managers and admin support staff who actually got on very well together.

We soon established that while many people in the group habitually adopted more passive forms of behaviour, some more frequently veered towards aggressive behaviour or “being direct” as they preferred to call it. And it can be a very fine line, one person’s simple and straightforward can feel like bullying to someone else, particularly if the second person lacks self-confidence or any sense of their own power.

Sure, there can be a sort of “formula” to assertive communication – demonstrating that you have heard and understood what the other person is saying, being clear to express what you feel, explaining what you would like to happen – but any verbal formula is left empty and powerless if the speaker, with their tone of voice and body language screams loudly “I’m a push-over!”.

As we went through the workshop – and it was an exhilarating ride through many diverse areas of discussion – self-determination, personal choice, social responsibility and worthiness – we came to understand that feeling and acting like a victim really limited our options.

I am so familiar with the idea that our own state of mind and expectation creates our experience of reality and it was a privilege to see this group of people realise the practical meaning of “The more you do of what you’re doing, the more you get of what you’ve got”.

I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” and these people, male and female, young and not so young, realised just how much they had been consenting to the way they had been put into powerless pigeon-holes.

It turned out that, while we did work through several strategies to develop assertive communication skills, the deeper work was in developing a greater level of self-esteem and escape from the mindset of victimhood.

I know they now need to take their new-found confidence back into the workplace but they have made a start…

It’s on days like this that I’m really proud of my delegates!

During a recent workshop we really discussed whether it was possible or even desirable to be able to control how you felt…

Have you ever paid attention to the way that you feel at a particular time of the day, maybe right now…?

The way you feel or your state relates to your physical well-being, as well as your thoughts and emotions.
- How does you body feel now (calm, tired, energetic, excited, tense, etc.)?
- What are your thoughts occupied with (people, tasks, future, past, etc.)?
- Do you feel any emotions (happiness, anxiety, anticipation, etc.), and if so, how do you feel them (e.g. warmth in your chest, knot in your stomach, etc.)?

What most people do not realize is that we are constantly in some kind of state. In fact, we cannot not be in a state of some description! So as long as you are alive you are going to be in a state of some kind – and most of us will experience many different states during a typical day, sometimes changing between states in a matter of minutes or even seconds.

States can be resourceful (happy, motivated, creative, etc.) or non-resourceful (angry, resentful, fearful, etc.). People who spend the majority of their time in resourceful states will most likely be leading a successful and rewarding life, even if not necessarily an easy life (does anyone?). If you are in a resourceful state you can make the best of any situation. It is the number one criterion to success in any walk of life. Likewise, if you are in a non-resourceful state you will say and do things that draw problems, difficulties, tension and complications into your life.

So the question is: How do you maintain a resourceful state in the midst of the many challenges you face every day?

One answer is to deliberately create and use “anchors”.

NLP anchoring uses a stimulus – it may be a sound, an image, a touch, smell or a taste – to trigger a consistent response in you or someone else. Two very simple anchors might be to either simply clench your fist gently or to press together the tips of your index finger and your thumb.

The next trick is to learn to associate a particular emotional state with your chosen anchor.

When something is anchored, we react without thinking. This can be beneficial or painful.

Can you think of a piece of music that has special meaning for you or a smell that reminds you of a specific incident in your life? The music or the smell are acting as anchors to your earlier, powerful memory. Many commercial organisations use jingles or slogans to anchor their product firmly in your mind…

When we use NLP anchoring, we make these associations deliberately.

Anchoring is derived from Pavlov’s theory of stimulus-response. Pavlov trained dogs to associate a stimulus or anchor – the ringing of a bell – with the arrival of their food. Very soon, the dogs, which salivated vigorously when their food was presented, learned to associate the stimulus of the bell with the physical response of salivation.

Stimulus-response usually needs further reinforcement, whereas anchoring can be created at the first attempt itself although the strength of the anchor can be increased by repeating the process several times.

So how do we do this?

To be most effective your chosen anchor needs to be a unique stimulus – a special touch or smell for example – that occurs at a specific time to coincide with a very strong emotional feeling.

So get yourself into the right emotional state.

- Remember a time when you really felt the desired emotion, say confidence….
- Really re-live that emotion and do everything you can to make that feeling of emotion real and powerful to you right now….
- Move, jump, jiggle, smile, remember or imagine feeling really great, totally unstoppable, capable of anything, positively glowing with confidence… and just as you think you’re about to burst with energy use your anchor…
- Touch your thumb and index finger together and hold them together for about 5 seconds.
- After 5 seconds, relax, let go of the emotion, let your anchor release and come back to a “normal” state.

Right now, you are beginning to condition your body into knowing that, when you t ouch your thumb and index finger together (use your anchor), you feel really confident in exactly the same way as Pavlov’s dogs knew it was time to salivate when the bell rang!

You’ll probably need to repeat the “anchoring process” several times to make it robust. If you really can create, remember or imagine a strong positive emotional state then it becomes relatively easy to associate this with physical anchor…

Now, maybe as you read through this you’re thinking “Go on, it can’t be this simple” or even “This is silly” – I was very sceptical when I first heard of this technique… But just imagine for one moment that what I’m sharing with you is true…
If it really is this simple, don’t you want to give it a go?!!

The secret is to give it a go and to do this just as if you really, really believed it was true. Secret scepticism really won’t help you with this one!

If it turns out that I’m right, then you can know you can feel confident and composed whenever you choose to touch your thumb and index finger together!

I begin many of my training workshops by reminding participants of the value of their time. Time is the most precious resource we have.

Rich or poor, healthy or sick, we only have 24 hours a day and, yes, I try to use them wisely.

How many times are we aware of the ways we invest our time? And the word “investment” is the most accurate because the way we choose to spend our time is a true investment in ourselves and our own lives.

So this last week I’ve been delivering workshops, preparing to visit the Money Gym Property Extravaganza on Saturday and developing plans to launch a new internet business site.

When not directly interacting with workshop participants I’ve been thinking about creating a new product to give away to people interested in internet marketing. Putting myself into my ideal client’s shoes I’ve been browsing the internet to look for ideas – what does my ideal client want?

Can you imagine how the time has flown…

Yes, I’ve seen many different products, lots of sales pages, a few things I’d never touch with a barge pole, avoided a few websites that my virus guard warned me were malicious and trying to install trojans on my website… but do I have a concrete idea?

Not yet.

And so this reminded me to reflect on the difference between being busy and making progress.

Even though I know I’m surfing with a purpose, this hasn’t been enough to keep me really focussed… I need to know what my outcome is.

Surfing is all well and good but I need inspiration for, and if at all possible, a real product to create whether that is an ebook, an email series or a piece of software to offer…

Time to put my computer away and talk with a business coach I think!

So what about you…

Are you just plain busy or are you making progress?

Now this might be one of those times when the title – Scientists Managing Scientists – seems to be an oxymoron, something that is inherently contradictory.

Research scientists – the environment is very individualistic, people are promoted and rewarded for getting papers published or grants awarded. This is frequently as a result of their own efforts or of the results produced by junior staff or PhD students who work for/with them…

At it’s best this can be a meritocracy, more senior staff can mentor and develop aspiring researchers who want to learn the trade of “professional researcher”, an apprenticeship that lasts at least 6 to 9 years.

Along that path of individual accountability there’s a subtle shift.

A researcher acquires or is rewarded with the responsibility for a PhD student or maybe a technician. Maybe a few years later, a junior postdoctoral researcher comes along to be directed and trained, and then you get to the stage where you’re applying for your own grant funding…

It seems to be a surprise that a major part of your role now is not to conduct your own research but to guide others to conduct your research for you.

This slow dawning that you are now a manager reveals a challenge in staff management skills for which few scientists are adequately prepared – but my top resources are below!

Our role models in management almost certainly have had little or no training at all. Some are excellent and supportive managers, others, perhaps a majority, have more haphazard skills in staff management. When it works, it works, when it doesn’t, we just get on with it. A minority of managers should be fired – the science gets done in spite of their inept management style and refusal to change.

The typical length of a research contract is just 3 years and the most important thing to achieve in that time is the publication of your research results – publication almost certainly being dependent upon the support and goodwill of the group leader. It goes without saying that even if a researcher’s experience of their manager is “trying”, most will endure it for just 3 years and the sake of the published paper.

But management skills can be learned, even by research scientists.

There are some excellent management skills workshops and a small number of books which are written specifically with the scientific environment in mind.

If you feel inclined to improve your management skills you could begin by looking at some of the books above – these three have earned their place on my bookshelf! If you choose just one to look at, make it Lab Dynamics…

If you want to improve or develop a wider range of influencing skills I have two more recommendations and “Influence…” by Robert Cialdini would be my “must have” book. Enjoy!