MargaretCollinsOnline – Thinking Out Loud…

As a trainer I travel. As a traveller I often find myself taking a break in service stations of various descriptions and see the good, the bad and the ugly!

I recently stopped in a Tesco store and witnessed some of the worst customer service interactions I’ve seen. Two operatives – anonymous, one male, one female but no name badges in evidence, were behind the counter… while I browsed the various “Special Offer” meal deal boards, a couple in front of me asked for “Two teas and hot cross buns please”…to be met with “Sorry but there are no large hot cross buns left, we only have the standard size over there” and a vague gesture to the left, away from the counter. The customers were confused by the response and repeated their request for tea and hot cross buns. Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee repeated as if in unison “Sorry, there are no large hot cross buns left. We only have the standard size over there” with more pointing away from the counter… bemused, the customers wandered away from the counter and didn’t return while I was there.

My go next… “Have you got any fish and chips?” – it was Friday and this was their meal of the day. “No” came back the answer. It dries out if we keep it under the lights. We could cook some for you but you’ll have to wait 10 minutes or so. Is that OK?” Well, what do you think? Would that have stirred you to part with your money? I left without fish and chips!!!

Contrast this with a visit to a Little Chef at Hope-Under-Dinmore… we arrived around 6.30pm, it was about half full and looking bright and bustling. There were only two staff on duty as far as I could see but Tracy and Jo were doing a great job. Each new customer was greeted warmly at the door and shown directly to a clean table. “Would you like a drink or shall we leave you for a minute to look at the menu?” We took the option to look at the menu – as soon as we had browsed, made our choice and put the menu down, Jo appeared with her order book in hand – “What can I get for you this evening?”. We waited minutes before fresh coffee appeared and was followed by freshly cooked food. I barely had time to watch and admire as Jo and Tracy seemlessly swapped roles – Tracy was the chef and seemed in control in her kitchen but, if Jo was taking orders Tracy stepped out to greet a new customer and show them to a table. No sooner than a freshly cooked meal appeared did Jo collect it and deliver it to table. When your meal was finished a further invitation “Would you like anything else?” or “Are you ready for your bill?” and people were given time to pack and move out without fuss – but the table was being cleared before they had closed the door behind them!

It was a real lesson in how to do great customer service. So Jo and Tracy at Hope-Under-Dinmore, thank you!

I was talking with a colleague recently about their impending Annual Appraisal Review meeting.

Almost every organisation has these reviews in some form or another and I don’t know many places where they are really appreciated or used to best effect for either employee or organisation.

It is always assumed or even explicitly stated that the purpose of such meetings is to

• provide feedback on past performance and
• encourage improvement of future performance.

Yeh… on occasion, with a really good Manager, this can feel almost true. But a good Manager is providing this feedback regularly anyway! Why would they/you wait for the annual appraisal?!

So if you’re serious about improving your personal performance, is there a good way to go about it?

How about you – Ask for feedback….

Now there’s daring! Ask your peers, ask your colleagues, ask your managers…

This might sound simple and it does require courage. However, it is very, very easy to get totally wrong!

I’ve been reading “What got you here won’t get you there” by Marshall Goldsmith – fascinating book and unusually, it’s the last few chapters that really made an impact for me.

Have you tried asking for feedback? Where do you start… “Am I doing a good job?”, “Could I be doing better?”.

People you are managing often feel the power dynamic – how can they honestly tell you what they feel could be better… it’s such an openended question and certainly not specific or focussed.

If you’re lucky, you might get someone brave enough, or arrogant enough to tell you what you’re doing wrong. It’s far more likely you will get comfirting platitudes about you’re doing a good job anyway… maybe a slightly embarrasssing smile or uncomfortable silence and then moving on with the business.

So how can you ask for feedback?

How about “I’m really serious about improving. How could I do better? Could you tell me just two things I might try?”

For some people, that would be limited enough and open enough… others might need a little time to think about it or even to share their thoughts later… no pressure…

What do you think? Would it work for you?

Brilliant workshop yesterday at Royal Holloway. To Manage, Influence and Motivate you certainly need to master communication!

The day explored how we communicate meaning through our words and our body language. If you want to say “No”, words don’t help much when your body language says “If you push just a little harder I’ll give in!!”, most people can read that message loud and clear and yes, they push that little bit harder until we give in… How much better if our “No” meant no and our body language backed us up!

We discussed a number of books during the session:
I was really happy to recommend any of Macolm Gladwell’s books as an easy introduction to some very interesting areas. His latest, “Outliers” explores how ‘geniuses’ are made rather than genetic… his work has some profund implications about how we nurture our talented youngsters and what gifts we might be unknowingly throwing away. I’d probably recommend The Tipping Point and also Blink even more highly – but take a look to find out more about these books.


We also discussed another book “Taming Your Gremlin” by Rick Carson – an absolute classic that can show us how to free ourselves from negative thoughts that are often the root of our anxiety and insecurity! The amazing thing is – it’s oh so simple…

I didn’t mention a Nancy Kline during the workshop but I nearly did. We explored active listening as a means to communication and I can’t think of a better or more powerful way to listen than to use Nancy’s simple and startling wisdom.

And if you want to use language to influence, to persuade or even to understand more clearly, these are the books for you. Robert Cialdini has to be top of my list. Accessible, authoratative and amazingly entertaining. As you read it, scales will fall from your eyes as you see these techniques in use…

Rose Chelle-Charvet writes a more dense text but this is also a powerhouse. Maybe not for an idle interest but if you’re serious about taking your use of language to the next level….

We covered so much more during this workshop and the delegates – a wonderful and inspired bunch of Academics – brought their own wisdom in abundance… what a way to spend Thursday!

I was at Bath University earlier this week delivering a workshop on Effective Communication Skills. This was targetted specifically at international students who often spend their first few months in the UK grappling with the complexities of English as spoken by the natives – and it’s not as simple as they teach in the best of language schools.

We did have a great time together. But did I have stiff competition!!

All day long it snowed. I don’t actually remember a winter like this one – they say it’s been 20 years. I know when I was much younger yes, we expected snow quite regularly. It’s been a rare novelty in more recent years. However, put yourself in the shoes of my students. The majority of them had never seen snow in their lives!!!! Bahrain, Indonesia, Malaysia… not contries known for their annual snowfall.

Every time I paused for breath their attention turned to the window. Every break we took saw an array of noses pressed against the glass as they cooed over the falling snow – and it did look like a winter wonderland.

I can be certain of one thing – we’ll be talking about the winter of 2009 for many years to come!

There are lightbulb moments in life when you suddenly realise how far you have travelled.

I experienced one of these recently…

My workshop was full of 18 eager and opinionated adults. These were not typical PhD students, strong, silent and stroppy. These were people with history, experience, insight, vision and a mission to change the world – each in their own many and varied ways.

We were exploring the role of words, voice and body in meaningful communication. Normally I introduce this concept – that the way you look, move and sound has a significant impact on your audience – within a matter of minutes. With this group it unleashed a flood of opinion, a wealth of stories to evidence their experience of  “When this happened to me…”. The room buzzed and heaved and moved.

It could have been chaos but it wasn’t. Even in their passion they listened as I invited one to speak and another and a third to add their bit… It was like conducting an orchestra as they wove the coloured threads of their own learning experiences around the framework and created a magnificent work of art.

Although it took a little longer than I had anticipated the quality of the learning was deep and they had provided each other with reasons to remember this lesson.

This highlighted yes, the importance of voice and body in delivering impact to words.

It highlighted the value passion. These messages were delivered from the heart, not just the head.

It also showed me how I have learned to lead more than to manage…

Had this happened a few years ago I’d have ended the session tired and stressed. Now this was energising, rewarding and one of those moments that makes the job so rewarding!

And the delegates – what did they make of this???

“Thank you again for a great workshop, and a great time, and fun. I’m not even sure which session was better, this one or the “Time management” one. Both were extremely essential, practical, well conducted, brilliant! Thank you very much!”

‘Nuff to bring a tear to my eye and a warm glow to my heart! Thanks Mariusz.

On Tuesday I arrived early for my workshop, knew I would, well worht it to avoid busy traffic later.

I also knew that there would be a Starbucks close by, a refuge where I could get breakfast and gather my thoughts before the training session.

I settled in and began to notice the people around me… some were obviously “regulars”, others, no doubt like myself were just passing through.

I took a sip of my drink and scowled. How could any business become so famous for selling such mediocre coffee?!

And then another penny dropped – it’s not about the coffee, it’s the experience.

My companions in this outlet were extremely varied… a group of four obviously having a team meeting before going on to a job together. A quieter lady covering the table and the bench seat besides her with books and files – she looked as if she were reconciling a set of accounts to my distant and inexperienced eye. My closest companion was picking at her food while reading a novel – I couldn’t see the book cover but the novel was winning out over the food! A number of men sat on their own dotted around the room, checking emails or playing games on their mobile phone.

In their own way each person was in their own private space while being fully in public. Our entry price for this haven was the purchase of the famous Starbucks coffee – or tea. A small price for our own private space bubble in a busy coffee shop!

And so on with my day – Presenting Your Research at Conference – my favourite. What fun!!!

Continuing reflections on success…

One thing I really notice in my role as Money Gym Coach and as a trainer with Training For Universities is that some people, many people, get to the stage where they recognise they need help…

There are many times when we know we’ve reached the boundaries of our current skill set and need fresh input. This is the first step on the journey to success. Having recognised a need, we come actively seeking a solution. You can’t start any journey of self improvement unless you actually show up!

Many new clients to the Money Gym know that they have reached the end of their budget and that joining the Money Gym Gold coaching programme is their last lifeline… For the majority of clients it really is that – a lifeline. Over the course of weeks or months they learn new ways of thinking, new skills, experience new communities of thought. There are so many amazing examples of this on the Money Gym Silver Google group – but you’ll have to join in or take a look at the blog to take a peek…

Similarly most people who come to my training workshops are faced with a situation where they know they could have done better… whether it is giving a conference presentation or managing a junior member of staff – they need new skills and come to the workshop to learn…

For a minority of people, unfortunately, showing up is as far as it goes.

For some there seems to be the mindset that “I’ve paid the money, now give me the skill!”.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve been tempted by this demon – and succumbed – on many occasions. How many people have bought internet marketing solutions and done nothing with them? How often have you bought something, maybe a diet book, perhaps an exercise video, maybe even full membership of a swanky gym – and then not got past the cover. If only turing your situation around were as simple as making the purchase! We all know it takes more than this.

First of all you need to be prepared to loosen your grip on old realities. Whatever you knew in the past isn’t working as well as it might so you have to be open to the possibilitity that there is a better way AND then some.

Once you have some idea of what the new way might be, that’s the time for rolling up your sleeves and putting in the work. We all know that the road to hell is paved with good intentions and I’ve laid many paths there for myself.

For me one secret of success is being prepared to move beyond dependence. To move beyond the belief that if I pay my money to someone else, “it” will miraculously tranform me.

I have to take responsibility for myself, for my future, for my actions. It is only by my own commitment that I can start to create a new way, to learn and to put into practice new skills, develop new habits. And yes, this does mean moving outside of my comfort zone!

So what do you think? Are we ready to give up our search for magic wand solutions, to move beyond dependence?

My schedule has been busy leading up to Christmas. As lead trainer for Training For Universities I find myself delivering a wide range of workshops ranging from Presenting Your Research at Conference to Dealing with Change. In spite of this diversity, in one of those statistical blips, I found myself delivering Time Management for three sessions within a week.

When I was very new to training I wondered whether delivering the same material would soon become boring…

I guess that is still a possibility. Doing the same thing repeatedly in any job can become boring or limiting if it stifles creativity.

What I have found is that the participants in each workshop add their own magic to the mix that makes each day different and three Time Management sessions has just proved the point.

Can I learn anything from this?

In a sweeping generalisation I can say that it seems that younger participants in these workshops had significantly simpler lives. They had their work… they had a social life but this seemed very flexible and without too many ties or committments.

Older/more mature participants in the workshops were far more likely to be juggling multiple responsibilities, part time work, part time study, young families, aging parents… few were dealing with businesses in any way. Life was generally more complicated and there were more fixed committments.

The tools needed by each group were different, but that’s not surprising either.

All groups I work with seem to like the “Eat That Frog” tool…

This is a great procrastination buster designed for those tasks you hate and would do anything to avoid, your personal “frogs”.

The rule is that the first thing you do each day is “Eat That Frog”.

This means, before you turn on the computer, before you check your email, before you do anything that will possibly be a distraction from that task you are so desperate to avoid, you eat your frog!

This is one tool that is beautiful in it’s simplicity and if you use it, it works!! Once you’ve “eaten your frog”, your day gets so much better…. don’t just take my word for it. Many particiants in my workshop email me to tell me how effective this is. Try it yourself and see!

Yesterday I set out for London – two days doing Time Management and Project Management.

I decided to “let the train take the strain” and headed out in a reserved seat in the “Quiet Coach”. It seemed to be a near perfect way to travel. Warm, comfortable and with space to relax, read, listen to music or prepare for the day.

And then we approached Swindon, still in darkness outside our metal cocoon, and came to a quiet halt. And we waited, and waited, and waited…

After 40 minutes we pulled alongside a platform and were invited (instructed!) to leave this train which was terminating at Swindon.

Apparently a frieght train had ploughed through a set of points ahead and had blocked all London-bound traffic. There was one service heading for London – that was very popular as people surged from one train to another, their bleary-eyed calmness replaced by a very keen competitiveness to ensure they had a seat on the London-bound train!

We were heading back to Chippenham before taking a very scenic route into Paddington avoiding Swindon.

The good news is that we did get to London, an hour and forty minutes late!

I was greeted with severe delays on the Circle Line (quick, back to the Hammersmith & City Line!) and then Baker Street Station was closed because of a fire alert and no trains were allowed to stop there…

Now, dear commuters, I don’t know how typical a day this is for regular commuters. I dread to think.

However, for me, the edge came in the knowledge that I was, through no fault of my own, being delayed en route to a workshop on Time Management!

In my workshops I teach that it is important to plan and to allow a sufficient buffer… I’d reserved seats and had allowed two hours to make a 20 minute journey from Paddington…

I teach that it’s not what happens and much as your reaction or response to events that will decide the course for the rest of your day… so I emailed ahead as soon as I knew my ETA in London and asked for the start time of the workshop to be delayed by one hour. Yes, I could have said “I’ll get there as soon as I can” but is that the best for the participants? I know I’d prefer a definite one hour delay – time to get something useful done and come back in time for a coffee.

So we reconvened after a slight delay… every delegate did show up and, with a slight smile on their face, was very sympathetic about my journey.

Not the way I would have chosen to start the day but damage control was successful…

On setting up a Limited Training Company (see www.TrainingForUniversities.com) I needed a new bank account. I’ve used Abbey for business banking for years and been very happy with their free and efficient service. They seemed an obvious choice.

The application form was 12 pages long. We had to wait for credit checks and to confirm that I really did receive mail at the postal address I supplied. Then another week while paperwork was processed…

I believe my accounts were officially opened on Wednesday last week. That’s when they sent out my Welcome Pack, account details, cards etc… and I’m still waiting.

They can tell me all of this on the telephone.

Oh yes, there are the security checks, my eye colour, my dog’s inside leg measurement and my first friend at nursery school, we need security clearance. With this information they will let me transfer money into or out of an account – but they won’t tell me the new account number.

So I’m still waiting.

How long does one wait before one starts to panic…?