Feb 26 2009
Powerful Personal Motivation
Whether I’m talking with my coaching clients, working with a group of people in a workshop or designing a web page to sell products in the internet, we keep coming back to the same subject: Personal Motivation.
When I know I want to do X, why do I let myself down?
When I know I should do Y, why do I consistently find myself doing the opposite?
When it comes to shopping, why do people consistently buy what they want and not what they need?
These mysteries of life go much deeper than our conscious mind and knowledge. We know what we should do… but something much deeper actually motivates our actions. Now I could write a book on this but won’t right now!! Suffice it to say that our behaviour is motivated by our fundemental needs and also by our personal values.
Tony Robbins has described six human needs and believes everyone is—or can be—motivated by their desire to fulfill these needs.
The first four needs are basic or fundemental:
1. Certainty. We all want certainty at some level. Much of this comes from comfort or security. Of course there is no ABSOLUTE certainty, but we do want to know that we will be safe, be healthy, have an income. We want the certainty of knowing that, as long as we don’t break the law we will be free, if we pay our money our goods will be delivered… you get the idea.
2. Uncertainty. This might seem paradoxical but we also want uncertainty. Too much certainty is stifling! There needs to be enough uncertainty or variety in our lives to provide spice and adventure, to provide challenge and entertainment. Generally speaking we don’t want every day to be the same or entirely predictable.
3. Significance. Deep down, we all want to be significant. We may not want to be a star (or we might!) but we do want our life to have meaning and significance at some level. Maybe to be noticed, to be an individual, to have someone care for us for being ourselves – and at some level this means we need to be different to everyone else. We may not be the worlds greatest rebel but we probably want to “do it my way” at least some of the time. And those of us driven to act out “the world’s greatest rebel” role, are simply expressing this deep human need. It’s often quick and easy compared to persuading someone to love us.
4. Connection. In contrast, we also want to be connected. Yes, we want to be ourselves but we also want to be part of some family, group or team. The isolation of being the only one, with nobody understanding what it’s like to be me is just too demanding for most human beings so we crave connection. It is hard to argue against the need for love & belonging – even rebels hang out in gangs. We want to feel part of a community, a family, a movement or a tribe!
These four human needs are core to our being human: certainty – uncertainty, significance – connection. We are driven to meeting these needs in so many different ways. 
And then we look higher, beyond the basic there is the expression of what makes us more fully human and this expreses itself in the desire to meet two additional needs:
5. Growth. Not everyone is driven to grow – but there are few of us that don’t enjoy getting better, knowing more, doing more. Our motivation might be to be promoted or get out of a rut of a job… to become better, to improve our skills, to stretch and excel may be more evident in some than others, but it’s there. And there are some of us for whom growth is a passion, a deep need and an eternal source of pleasure.
6. Contribution. Stephen Covey expresses this as leaving a legacy, our gift to the world or those who come after us. This is our footprint on the planet and, even if you don’t want to be remembered by name or in fame, most of us would choose to be remembered kindly rather than for wanton destruction! The desire to contribute something of value—to help others, to make the world a better place than we found it is in all of us.
So, when you’re confused by what you don’t do or when your actions seem contrary to your wishes, think of these needs – which is driving your behaviour? If you can think of a different way to meet your needs you might actually get closer to your goals!
